It's a technology with the potential to ease California's colossal thirst and insulate millions from the parched whims of Mother Nature, experts say.
Who's ready to hear about exciting Heart of Darkness "technology?" Will we hack up albinos to make anti-drought amulets? Maybe enjoy a battery acid cocktail in a shebeen as an alternative to water? How about some jenkem? As it turns out, that last guess wasn't too far off.
But there's just one problem — the "yuck factor."
The yuck factor of living in a dead nation and having a front row seat for the decomposition process.
As a fourth year of drought continues to drain aquifers and reservoirs, California water managers and environmentalists are urging adoption of a polarizing water recycling policy known as direct potable reuse.
Get ready to chug down the brown, just like California's White dispossession policies.
We'll get this to vote for Jeb Bush. Here, have a cup of treated sewage.
Unlike nonpotable reuse — in which treated sewage is used to irrigate crops, parks or golf courses — direct potable reuse takes treated sewage effluent and purifies it so it can be used as drinking water.
Just like how we successfully integrated the may-hee-can invaders and turned them into good little conservatives and taxpayers. We were so successful at converting the human sewage, this should be no problem.
It's a concept that might cause some consumers to wince, but it has been used for decades in Windhoek, Namibia — where evaporation rates exceed annual rainfall.
Say no more. You had me convinced at "Namibia."
We have so much to learn from them.
Los Angeles opponents coined the derisive phrase "toilet to tap" in 2000 before torpedoing a plan to filter purified sewage water into an underground reservoir — a technique called indirect potable reuse.
It's amazing what another fifteen years of steady invasion by two-legged turds can do for state policy, economic prosperity, societal trust and the sanity of your leadership. It's almost as if opening our country to foreign invasion from backward savages has consequences.
In 1994, a San Diego editorial cartoonist framed debate over a similar proposal by drawing a dog drinking from a toilet bowl while a man ordered the canine to "Move over..."
The steadily eroding California of 1994 seems like an earthly paradise now.
Despite those defeats, proponents say the time has finally arrived for Californians to accept direct potable reuse as a partial solution to their growing water insecurity.
The time has come to drink human waste, Whitey.
"You know, toilet to tap might be the only answer at this point," said Van Nuys activist Donald Schultz. "I don't support it, but we're running out of options. In fact, we may have already run out of options."