Congratulations, new college freshmen! Welcome to what will undoubtedly be some of the most exciting years of your life.
Best of luck paying off your kosher student loan that you just agreed to! I'm sure you'll be okay, but just another reminder that bankruptcy won't remove that pound of flesh you now owe us.
Get ready to meet new people, learn things that fascinate you, and figure out who you are and who you want to be.
Get ready to get blacked-out drunk, to absorb endless "White are evil!" lectures from professors with weird little skullcaps and to leave an unemployable mess up to your neck in debt after wasting several of the best years of your life, years that should have been spent starting a White family.
If you’re Jewish, you should probably also prepare yourself for the various forms of anti-Israel sentiment, and maybe even anti-Semitism, you’re likely to encounter on your new college campus.
In between the non-stop attacks on Whites and Western Civilization you might have your delicate kosher sensibilities damaged by unkind glance from one of the unclean cattle or even the suggestion that Israel shouldn't directly control the U.S.S.A.
Have your credit card ready, shkotzim!
In the past year alone, as a Jewish student at McGill University in Montreal, I’ve been called a “Zionist b—-.”
I'm guessing this low energy insult either never happened or emanated from a 300 pound negress who gasped it out and followed up with "Ah! Ah!"
I’ve been told several times that Jews haven’t suffered (never mind the Spanish Inquisition, Eastern European pogroms and centuries of violence and marginalization leading up to the Holocaust).
LOL. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, but we definitely expect muh holohoax. My entire family was turned into lampshades and ashtrays, you have no right to disagree with anything I say.
When I asked if a student publication would write about instances of anti-Semitism on campus in its end-of-year issue, I was told that those instances were already covered in “mainstream Zionist media.”
I asked the student publication if they would mention the cruel persecution I endured and the editor told me "Hitler did nothing wrong" and "The Ultimate Race War is coming soon!" Yes, I believe this happened. In Kanada. A country where you can go to prison for saying what was allegedly said. Ever since the jew realized the dumb gentiles will believe the most ridiculous things if you shout them loudly enough (Six Hibblezillion zapped on electric belts! Gas ovens!) they've gotten really lazy with their apocryphal tales of non-chosen evil.
I love Israel and firmly believe in its right to exist, just as I believe in a Palestinian state. I also consider myself a liberal and care deeply about a range of injustices, including gender inequality, homophobia and the racial opportunity gap.
I am a poisonous mushroom, an alien parasite embedded in a country I care nothing for, an outsider and an agitator, a criminal and a profiteer. I'm a jew.
Yet so many of my liberal peers, with whom I share so much common ground, have actively excluded Jewish students from their social-justice organizations.
They never let poor Yentl
Join in any social-justice games
Then one foggy Chanukkah eve
The big bankers came to say
Jewess with your nose so bent
Won't you print this propaganda we sent?
Then all the "racists" loved her
And they shouted out with glee
Jewess the rootless cosmopolitan
You'll go up a chimney
Despite the frustrations, I know that your campus will also be a wonderful place to strengthen your Jewish identity and find community.
You can make a low-effort swastika, slap it on your door and be the center of attention! The hero of the day, until the hoax collapses, but our mainstream zionist media will be long gone by the time that happens.
B’hatzlacha — best of luck — and n’sia tova — enjoy the journey!
Now let's discuss that payment schedule one more time...
Only $46.66! Cheap!