An illegal alien tied up a woman and attempted to kidnap her and steal her car after she gave him food and water for three days.
"Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake.
Agents learned the woman helped an illegal alien she found in her backyard. She provided the man with food and water for three days, information obtained by Breitbart Texas from Del Rio Sector spokesman Dennis Smith revealed.
Muh suicidal generosity. Come on in, Pablo! I'm sure glad you're here to the jobs Americans won't. It's hard to believe an incident like this is even possible in the post-Trump U.S.A. This is Sweden-tier behavior.
She said that after helping the man survive for three days, he unexpectedly jumped her, tied up her hands and feet, and forced her to get in her car. As the illegal alien attempted to start her car, the woman managed to escape and flee on foot.
Such a surprise, who could have predicted this? A natural conservative and future Paul Ryan supporter abducts his benefactor, no doubt with rape and murder planned for the near future. Fortunately the la-teen-oh isn't any better at tying knots than it is at washing, using a toilet correctly or civilized behavior in general.
The deputies and agents, joined by a K9 unit, began searching for the suspected kidnapper. Agents eventually came across a man matching the description of the alleged attempted kidnapper lying in the brush. Agents discovered the man was unconscious and unresponsive.
Ey, I take a siesta now, I theeeennnkkk.
Suicide is a sin, not a virtue.
They quickly transported him to a regional hospital. Doctors determined the man to be faking his “medical emergency.”
Don't worry, you'll get the bill for this foreign turd's malingering.
“The skill sets of the men and women of the United States Border Patrol are simply incredible,” Acting Chief Patrol Agent Matthew J. Hudak said in a written statement. “Tracking and arresting this subject resulted in the detention of an undocumented alien with a propensity for violence.”
Yeah. Great job. Let's maybe start worrying about the millions of criminal invaders that are still slipping through the net before we start sucking each other's dicks.